At 50 something (I forgot whether it's 51 or 52...when you get this age, the specifics aren't that important -- it's enough to know I'm over 50), I find I'm experiencing somewhat of a second adolescence.

I recently bought a guitar and a book on how to learn to play it. I'm attempting to learn Spanish and French (I thought I'd try learning both at one time but quickly learned that was not a wise move...don't know of any area where Spench is spoken). I'm learning Pilates and am planning on enrolling in dance classes as soon as I can get a little ahead with my finances. I'd toyed with the idea of getting a small tattoo but cannot resolve the issue of the pain involved with that form of artistic expression. Maybe a henna tattoo...

I'm overweight for the first time in my life, I get winded going up a flight of stairs (though my endurances has improved noticeably since I started exercising) and I get stiff when I sit for over an hour. Yet oddly, I feel more ALIVE today than I ever have in my life. Life just seems so enriching and so worthwhile, even when it's bad, it's still LIFE...and that's GOOD. I'm having more fun as an old bat than I did as a cute young Barbie doll college kid, and I'm no where NEAR as insecure as I was then.

Age seems to bring with it a peculiar confidence and boldness that I could just never get a handle on when I was young. Life circumstances have led me into many situations where I was forced to learn many new skills I'd have likely never made the effort to learn had the need not been forced on me. I've learned I could do many things I'd never have thought I could do. I've learned I could endure many things I'd never have believed I could endure.

I must be feeling unusually content tonight because I know I'm off work for a week. Can't afford to go on a real vacation like leaving home or something, like NORMAL (what is normal anyway?) people do, but it's still a relief just to know I don't HAVE to get up and go somewhere and plug away for 8 hours in the morning, only to come HOME and plug away for another 4-5 hours before collapsing into bed to begin another monotonous cycle of work, work, die...work, work, die, etc.

So the moral of this little musing is? Much good can come from the bad and uncomfortable -- stability, endurance, patience, confidence. Remember, just as every good thing must come to an end, so must every bad thing -- just in time for another good thing -- and life goes on and the circle goes round and round and round. Just relax and enjoy the ride.