What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.

The previous discussion about breast implants brought to mind another subject I find curiously interesting. It seems when we are young and our skin is firm and youthful and our bodies seem to be able to retain their youthful shape no matter what we eat or don’t eat or do or don’t do, we nurture so many insecurities about how we look and who we are.

When I decided to go with breast implants, it wasn’t that I wanted to be huge, I just wanted to be NORMAL. I was small boned and petite yet blessed with a rather bulbous and shapely derriere. Without a top half to match it, I looked rather unbalanced, aesthetically speaking. Of course, even WITH the implants and my wonderfully, newly ‘balanced’ frame, I went through many a personal upheaval and painful, life-changing experiences, not to mention about 2 years of counseling, before I was able to even BEGIN to get a handle on some effective methods of coping with the many difficult circumstances that confront us all on a rather regular basis throughout life.

Needless to say that with age, seems to come a peculiar comfort with personal imperfections. Somewhere along the journey, we come to realize that CHANGE is part of life. Nothing remains the same. People change. Circumstances change. Bodies change (with or without cosmetic surgeries). Not that our body shape and physical appearance has no effect on how we see ourselves or, in turn, how we cope, but it is no longer the measuring stick by which we compare our worth to the rest of the world. I confess that when folks tell me I look 20 years younger than my actual age, it feels real GOOOOD. But I also realize that at some point in the future, I WILL look this age. Of course if I’m 70 and folks are telling me I look 50, I think I’ll still have reason to experience a moment of ego inflation…but back to the subject at hand…

…if I live to be well over 100 – which is my intention – I will undoubtedly at some point during that time begin to look genuinely OLD. But I’m guessing that by that time, I will have developed such a crusty and colorful personality that my wrinkles will seem rather insignificant – at least to ME – and if they aren’t insignificant to others, I won’t give a hoot in Hades.

Maybe this transformation was part of the original human design – to learn to be at peace with our imperfections as we age – otherwise, how on earth would we be able to stand ourselves? We learn to enjoy what we have, instead of sitting around pining and fretting about all the things we don’t have. We are at peace with the idea that no matter what status we achieve in life, there will always be someone else who is better looking, smarter, more prosperous, and more just plain ‘lucky’ that we are. And likely many more who are LESS good looking, LESS intelligent, LESS prosperous and way more UNlucky than we are.

The way to cope with life’s unexpected surprises, both good and bad, could best summarized with this:
1] Learn to accept change with grace. It’s a part of life.
2] There is an up side and a down side to every change. Find the up side, and stay focused on it – and strive to BUILD upon it.
3] As for the down side, learn to roll with the punches.
4] Always remember, nothing is going to remain the same in a transient world. If you’re in an uncomfortable place in life, it won’t stay that way forever. If you’re in a comfortable place…this too shall pass…be prepared.
5] Remember that pain is one of life’s greatest motivators. If you fight it, it will destroy you, and very likely, others to whom you are close to. If you embrace it, it will give you a leg up toward the needful CHANGE. (By ‘embracing’ it, I don’t mean to be content to live with it, I mean LISTEN to its MESSAGE…it’s telling you to MOVE in another direction – it’s telling you that it’s past time for YOU to initiate CHANGE…within yourself, first.)
6] Let yourself have fun. Let yourself be silly. Let your hair down, dude. Lay in the grass and stare at the clouds and let the bugs crawl on you – you won’t die. Let yourself LAUGH.
7] Never grow old. Grow UP, by ALL means (PLEEEASE!), but NEVER, EVER grow OLD.

I suppose that’s my approach to life in a nutshell. Hurry, grab it before that damn squirrel gets it…