to this blog. I will determine to write SOMEthing EVERY day (ha, like I’ve not tried that before...). I will determine to write whatever I’ve a notion to write at the moment, with absolutely no regard or concern of what someone else may think of it -- whether others will approve or disapprove, agree or disagree -- whether or not I think others will admire me or ignore me.

It seems a peculiar human trait, the way we all, to varying degrees, seem to have such a need for approval and validation from others. Even the most emotionally mature seem to fall prey to it, though never admitting it to be so. Hence, tonight, I attempt to squarely face one of the most common of human fears and defy it with my rambling random thoughts for this evening.

I come off a Halloween weekend feeling a bit woozy from a diet of horror movies. I don’t care for murder fests or most demonic encounters, but I do love my monsters and psychological thrillers. I’ve really never quite fathomed how ‘normal’ folk can actually enjoy and view as ‘entertainment,’ realistic depictions of murder and mayhem, though I know many seemingly normal folk who do (note I qualified that with the word ‘seemingly’). Why it doesn’t deeply disturb me to see an alien burst out of a dude’s stomache, or to see a monsterous-sized worm burst from the desert sands to consume the locals, I cannot explain. Whatever. During my channel surfing this weekend however, I’ve nevertheless been tempted for some unknown reason to remain on a few such horror movies (the kind I DON’T like) for a scene or two, which has left me feeling somewhat jumpy and somehow ‘soiled.’ Hence, I stop my channel hopping at one of my feel-good favorites, Chocolat. If I can gain weight from just THINKING about chocolate, perhaps the same thing that triggers the weight gain will also trigger a rush of endorphins to ease my discomfort. If the sight and thought of the chocolate doesn’t do the trick, I’m sure the sight and thought of Johnny Depp WILL.

And with that thought, I close tonight, with a big, lustful, endorphin-filled grin on my face -- I can feel it already...