What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.

My barn has been in the process of drying out from a period of constant torrential rains recently that left the inside of my barn looking more like a washed out beach than stalls. This past weekend, I was finally able to create a small space of time in which to devote to rebuilding my equine habitat, and the bedding had dried out enough to make it actually do-able. Before getting into the project though, I had to stand for a moment and do some soul searching. All along the tack room wall on the first stall, was the biggest colony of doodle bug homes I think I'd ever seen -- and in order for me to get to work on my stall, the doodle bugs would have to be uprooted.

For those who don't know what a doodle bug is (much less PLAYED with one), let it be known that you have missed out on one of life's most interesting entertainments. I have no idea what the proper name for these insects are, but they look somewhat similar to a tiny crab -- that is, if you're lucky enough or quick enough to ever really SEE one. Though an actual full-body sighting of a doodle bug may be quite uncommon, you may ascertain their presence by their unusual home constructions. They live in loose, dry sandy dirt. Look for what might best be described as a tiny inverted volcano (a triangle with its tip dipping down INTO the dirt instead of rising above it and pointing upward) about 1/2" in diameter. Doodle bugs construct these dwellings for the purpose of ensnaring small, unsuspecting insects into them, so that they may join them for dinner so to say. The oblivious insect scurries across the trap and falls into the hole. The sand on the sides of the hole is loose, making an immediate escape difficult, while in the meantime, the movement alerts the doodle bug that a dinner guest has arrived, at which time he jumps out and grabs his prey and disappears back into the sand. It all happens in less than one second. If you blink your eyes, you'll miss the whole thing.

Fooling a doodle bug into believing a dinner guest has arrived is about the only chance you'll ever have to actually see a doodle bug in action, and it takes a very highly skilled and practiced hand to pull it off. This is one of the skills that is perfected through much practice, and a skill eagerly coveted by every southern child raised in a rural setting. It's almost as well respected a skill as skipping rocks across a body of water. Take a tiny blade of grass or straw or hay, squat down over the tiny inverted volcano and begin to VERY CAREFULLY knock down single grains of sand into the center of the hole. That's where the skill comes in -- knock down too many grains too fast, or not enough fast enough, and your doodle bug is sure to be a no-show. If you're lucky, you're shenanigans will fool the hiding doodle bug into thinking he has trapped a tasty insect and he will pop out and grab your blade of whatever and disappear back into his hole, but not before you get a glimpse of him. Once you've succeeded in coaxing one out though, it is best to move on to the next doodle bug hole, as they are rarely deceived twice -- not in the same day anyway.

Well, I feel I've made my significant contribution to society today in sharing one of the rural south's most coveted pastimes --- How To Shaft a Doodle Bug. Happy doodle bug hunting everyone!

P.S. It may help to prepare for your doodle bug hunt with a Coke and some boiled peanuts. It sort of gives you that rural southern 'edge' that is required for such sophisticated endeavors.